One day
by SimplyReBECca
Summary: JL. He's leaving. Goodbye time.


_Author's note - its official. David Witts is leaving. Gutted. And seeing as Jacqueline is staying, that means no happily ever after for our much loved Joey & Lauren._

_Seeing as I'm never convinced with Eastenders that we'll get a proper goodbye, here's my attempt at one. _

_Let me know your thoughts, because I've not written in ages xo_

* * *

Walford tube station, where it all began for him. It had been one hell of a year for him, for everyone really. And now here he was, bags packed returning home, to his old home anyway. He couldn't help but feel he was leaving something behind, but it was a something that wasn't his anymore. Maybe it was part of himself he was leaving behind, maybe that was it.

"You arse!" He turned from the turn-style to see Her running in.

"Were you just not gonna tell me?" She was annoyed at him, he could tell. She'd probably found out from Kat, or maybe Ronnie he was leaving.  
He was going to say bye to her, he really was but then he saw her, laughing and walking arm-in—arm with her boyfriend so decided against it.

He had left her a letter though with Abi when he had said his goodbyes to her earlier. A letter would probably be the easiest good-bye anyway, although it hadn't felt like it when he had to write it. He said as much.

"I don't want a letter." She was just being stubborn, she'd barely spoken to him recently, other than about Alice so he doesn't know what she wants. "You can't go."

"Why? What's stopping me ay Lauren?" He questioned back, dropping his bag at his feet before meeting her gaze. His dad - dead, his sister - gone, her - not his. Why stay around, without them.

There was just silence between them, people milling around them heading on their own journeys but the two of them, silent in their own bubble.

She met his gaze and her eyes looked troubled. Too many emotions, too many thoughts.

"Exactly babe." He took a step towards her and brushed her hair back behind her ear, her letting out a gasp in response, her eyes welling up with tears at his gesture. Actions sometimes do speak louder than words.

He sighed before he spoke "Y'know it's time for me to leave Lauren. This was never supposed to be home for me". He forces a grin, trying to make this easier. Easier for her anyway. "And we all know who changed that ay?" She let out a shaky laugh at his words.

"But …" She tries to speak and words just fail her. He grabs her to pull her in for a hug, probably the closest they have been in months.

While he held her, Joey allowed himself to do things he had denied himself from doing in the past few months. He pressed his lips against her temple; he ran his hands through the ends of her hair and at one point he even let himself close his eyes, but it didn't last long. Soon Lauren calmed herself down, and as soon as she did, she pulled away from him and moved a few steps away as soon as possible.

She didn't say anything when she moved away from him and wrapped her arms around herself, to protect herself he knew. There was no apologizes for what has happened or thank you's either. The minute they were no longer touching, they went right back to how things had been. They were just strangers that knew each other very well.

"Are you going to come back?". She finally mumbles, keeping her head down so he can't see her face to read her expression. "It is your home now". She pauses, debating her words. "And Abi will miss you. And Dad and that."

He sighs. This was never going to be easy. This is why he usually left without a fuss or drama, this is why he doesn't do complicated. But the second he let this girl in his life, that word summed it all up.

"I don't know babe." He was honest. He had no idea what he was going to do next. He'd spent his life looking after his mum and sister, and then recently she got added to the mix. But his mum's got herself a guy who's good for her, and well Alice... He can't look after her now, and Lauren's not his anymore.

"You've left before..." He barely catches what she said. But he did. And it's true, he'd left before and returned for his sister and her. Although for her mainly. Is that what she was asking? With his sister gone, would he still return…

"I did. So you never know what might happen". A neutral answer, all he can give right out.

She leans in to him suddenly and let's out a shaky breathe against his chest. He wrapped one arm around her, giving her the time she needed.  
"Learnt not to attempt to work out what happens next babe, I'm always wrong." He learnt that with them. He forced a laugh as he said it though. No response from her.

"Lauren…"

He had said this in his letter, written it half a dozen times before he said it simply but he has the opportunity to speak to her now and if this is it for them, well…..

"You know it's always been you right?" She lifts her head from his chest, but not stepping away from him, wanting to hear what he has to say but not wanting to at the same time.  
"Even with the drink, and everything. It's always been you." It has.

"You I wanted" he sighed. "You I love." He paused before deciding to continue. "And I don't see that changing." He rushed his words out. Adding an "ever" at the end.

Tears were streaming down her face at this point, having started when he said he wanted her, and just continued the more he spoke. She dragged a hand across her face, trying to wipe away the evidence of her upset.

"And yet you are leaving me again…"  
The pain in her voice chilled him, having not heard her sound like that since that day with Whitney. And as much as he wanted to throw back at her about him trying and her not wanting him, or her having someone else, he didn't.

"I'm not leaving you though Lauren." He paused, biting down the want to mention her having Jake anyway. "I'm leaving Walford, there's a difference."  
She looked at him though shaky lashes, trying to keep tears at bay.

"I've just said it's always going to be you, that's true whether I'm here or not."

She just nodded once her acceptance at what he said, but he had a feeling she didn't believe him.

What did she think would happen – with every tube stop he got further from Walford, his feelings for her would lessen and lessen? Somehow he didn't think that would happen.

They were at a stalemate. There was a part of him wants to ask her to come. Like before. Let's just run away, together, be Joey&Lauren again instead of Joey and Lauren. But then he sees how good she is now, and how she's trying to move on and that's what he wants for her.

And looking at her he knows she's thinking the same. And he knows she'd say yes if he asked her but she would end up regretting it. And deep down she knows that he won't ask because he's protecting her. Even from if that is from himself.

If the options are being with him and being like she was at the start of the year, or being with someone else and being happy & drink free, he'll make the decision for her and go. No matter what deep down he and she want. He will let his head rule his heart, no more pain.

"Sooo…." She drawls it out. "This is it?" She raises an eyebrow at him and it makes him chuckle seeing her fiery side still there under all the tears.  
"For now" He nods.

"This is it."

She nods back and shakily draws a big breath in. And he knows what's coming.

"What you said... you know that I..." She goes to continue but he stops her. He thinks this is hard enough as it is.

It would break her to say it and for him to still leave, it would mess things up for her here admitting that he's it, he'll always be it for her.

Her things in life need to run its course without him messing things up from a distance and she can come to that conclusion when she's ready. And besides, he thinks it would break him to hear it too.

"Hey baby... No more tears yeah?" He wipes them away tracing down her cheek before pushing her hair back. She nods her head, leaning his face in to his hand, absorbing comfort, trying to remember before it was gone.  
"I don't want to say goodbye." She admits breathlessly, shutting her eyes. He sighs. She was making this harder.

"Then let's don't." He steps away from her, ignoring her hurt and confused look. "Let's just leave it at…" He pauses, trying to decide.

"See you later." They both take a deep breath in unision. "Okay?" She nods.

"I'll see you again maybe, one day..." his sentence trails off.  
She nods though. And mouths something that he can't catch, the words caught in the back of her throat. He just nods back.

Quick as anything he leans forward to press a kiss on her forehead and turns, walking away from her as quickly as his legs can take him.

**"Joey!"**

He barely had time to turn on the stairs before his arms were full of Lauren. It took him a few seconds to realise she was kissing him too.  
He responded though, as much as his head was screaming it was a bad idea and would make leaving her harder, his heart was racing. Every kiss with her, no matter how small, set it racing, his body never failing to react to hers.

They poured everything in their kiss; the hurt, the anger and the disappointment, the sadness and mostly the love. If you strip everything back, the pain and drama, her drink and their family, their love was there. Always.

They broke apart in stages, both breathless, her dropping her head to his neck briefly before pulling away, she looks nervous. She awkwardly coughed as he tried to process what to say.

"Bye then" she said, attempting to step away from him and get away.  
He couldn't help but laugh, causing her to pull a face at him, not impressed.  
"Bye then?" He smirked, as she blushed. He'd guessed she'd said the first thing to pop into her head.

"That a proper Lauren Branning goodbye?" He said with a grin, trying to make light of their kiss. He can't read anything in to it, he's leaving. She nods quickly and pulls a saucy smirk onto her face, blinking away her left over tears.

"So you'll have to come back." She spoke, full of confidence she was, until he raised a eyebrow at her.

Her next words were softer, not as confident but she was trying to keep the act up which he appreciated.

"For a Lauren Branning... Oh I've missed you." She said, not managing to meet his gaze.  
He pulled her in to another hug, to hide his reaction to her words and to stop anything else being said on either side. They stood, wrapped up in each other on the stairs with people trying to get past but neither cared.

"I'll hold you to that" he mumbled against her hair, her nodding once into his chest.  
"And I'll hold you to what you said last time you came back" she whispered as she lifted her head. He was confused for a second but then remembered.

He'd have come back eventually. He needs her, needs them. He can't stay away for long. What was a conversation not about them, became about them back then and months down the line fits them again.

"Okay." he said, making the first move and stepping away.

"Okay? She replies, taking her own step away. He nods at her, and grabs the bag he hadn't realised he'd dropped. Looking up though, he manages to catch her reaction.

Her smile.

A genuine smile. The first he seen sent his way in a while.

"No goodbyes though" she said, taking yet a step away from him, him shooting her a grin, as he starting walking up the steps backwards, still keeping eye contact as she walked backwards as well.

A step at a time, away from each other, to hopefully in the future wind back up next to each other, where they belonged.

"I'll be seeing ya then…" He left it open.

But she nodded, with a small smile.

_One day._


End file.
